sâmbătă, 30 ianuarie 2016

Dor

S-aștern nămeți, a nins cu sete
Sunt străzile de iarnă bete,
Iar eu colind singură-n noapte
Te caut, dar tu ești departe.

Se-aștern zăpezi, a nins cu dor
Iar norii-și spun povestea lor,
Cum rătăcesc pe cerul lumii
Ținându-i strajă noaptea lunii.

Se-așterne frigul peste toate
Și frig fiind, dorul mă arde.
Privesc spre cer, spre norii grei
Și plâng și eu... și plâng și ei...

sâmbătă, 9 ianuarie 2016

Te-am cautat

Te-am cautat in nopti ploioase
Caci te-am stiut al meu de mult.
Simteam cum inima-ti vibrase,
Cand am strigat ca m-am pierdut.

Ma-nstrainasem si de mine,
Nu mai stiam ce-i rau, ce-i bine.
Am tot cazut, m-am murdarit
Ranit-am fost si am ranit,
Mintit-am fost si am mintit,
Pierdut-am fost, dar m-ai gasit!

Te rog, ramai de-acum cu mine!
Hai sa-nvatam iar sa iubim,
Dragostea-mi toata-ti apartine;
Ce sansa-a fost sa ne-ntalnim!

marți, 5 ianuarie 2016

Goodbye 2015

It seems like I've been neglecting my blog for quite a while now. Lots of things have happened in the mean time. I had a very full and overwhelming 2015. I am thankful for every single thing I experienced last year, simply because it brought me where I am right now, making me a bit wiser (I hope). It was the year when I studied in Germany and found out what a great place to be this country really is, the year when I made new wonderful friends, when I learnt to be more independent, provide a bit for myself by working hard, when I understood just how much a smile means, how fragile we people are, when taken out of our confort zone and last but not least, the year when I happily rediscovered that I still can fall in love.

My adventure in Germany ended in August 2015, and I'm calling it adventure because it walked me through so many emotions, that I didn't think I could experience in such a short time. I was refused the grant for the second semester, as a consequence of a triple exam I failed during the winter finals. That was the point when I freaked out and lost my confidence, thinking how on earth was I going to successfully end my Erasmus experience there. It felt almost impossible, but thank God, it wasn't! I went to work in a bistro and was blessed to have caring and supporting bosses. They were husband and wife and took care of me and always treated me with respect. I tried my best to show my appreciation, working hard and with enthusiasm. With the money I earned from them and with some help from my parents as well, I managed to balance the financial situation for a few months, till I got the grant back.
I also had the support of some great friends. One of them, Bianca, was actually more like a sister to me. We had sleepovers, we learnt together in the library, she helped me in any way possible, but the most wonderful thing she did, was simply being there for me, encouraging me to keep moving on, no mather how hard things seemed to be to me. I will always be grateful to her, for she was one of the reasons why I kept smiling and succeded in the end.
When I started my second semester there, I took part in a small event, held by the Erasmus Office in Wuerzburg, where I had the chance to meet a special someone. He proved to be one of the kindest people I have ever known, with a golden heart, capable of true love and friendship. I will take it this far and say that he is like an angel living among humans. At least, so he was to me. He saw things in me that I have never been able to even think about myself. It felt like I was growing into a better person next to him. He inspired me to do good, to be forgiving and focus on the bright side of things. I don't know if I ever felt so appreciated. I thank him for making me feel that way and I praise him for his kind nature. He deserves only good things to come his way! God bless him!

As I came back to Romania, I felt strange for a while. It took me time to readapt, but, of course, being home was doing me good and soon enough everything went back to normal. I started my 5th year of med school, got back in touch with my colleagues and time went by so fast...it's already January 2016! Soon finals will start and alongside them, the stress. I'm not looking forward to this, but at the same time, I need to focus on something else, anything else but my feelings.
What can I say?! Everything happens for a reason. I've been through quite some interesting things last year and as I already said, I can only be thankful for that.

May you all be at peace with the year that just ended and find the strenght to fulfill all your new year's resolutions! Be happy, be thankful, be patient and only good things will come your way!

vineri, 27 martie 2015

Hai, cu elan!

A trecut luna mea de vacanta acasa. Mi-am servit portia de confort, sprijin si dragoste. A sosit clipa sa ma pregatesc de plecare si apoi de inca o jumatate de an departe. Era de asteptat ca experienta asta, a strainatatii, sa ma schimbe intr-un fel, dar nu ma asteptam sa vina cu un pachet atat de complex de trairi si emotii. M-am analizat pe toate partile, am avut timp destul sa il petrec doar cu mine insami. Peretii camerei mele din Germania sunt cei care m-au vazut trecand prin toate acele stari. Si, Doamne, au fost o multime.
Am cazut de atatea ori, dar m-am si ridicat. Am avut parte de suficiente incercari, dar cred ca toate si-au avut rostul. M-am consumat de multe ori, pentru ca imi puneam cea mai proasta intrebare posibila "De ce eu? De ce mie toate astea?" Nu a picat niciodata din cer raspunsul ci doar m-a macinat, zi dupa zi...pana cand intr-un final ma puteam debarasa de povara acelor ganduri. Totusi, dura prea mult. Si lasa mici urme..iar urmele mici au facut una mare...si acest bulgare rezultat se numeste neincredere si e dusmanul meu cel mai iscusit. Stie mereu cand sa apara, stie mereu cu ce sa ma saboteze, stie unde ma doare, aranjeaza mereu cadrul perfect pentru urmatoare lovitura si apoi ma "mangaie" spunandu-mi ca nu e asa rau, nu toti reusesc, unii sunt mai slabi. Ce pervers! Cand eu stiu cata munca sta in spate, cate sperante, cate rugaciuni.
In fine, oamenii se mai si schimba. Mai ales dupa experiente neplacute. Si eu avut destule, schimbare s-a produs si continua inca.
Cum fiecare isi vede de propriul interes, de acum si eu il voi urmari pe al meu. Ceea ce sper e ca in timp sa capat si putina intelepciune, incat sa nu caut sa spun nimanui "ti-am zis eu!". Vreau ca in viitor sa fiu cu zambetul pe buze, plina de incredere si sa folosesc cuvintele ca sa mangai, sa incurajez, sa ajut si nu ca sa dovedesc cat de mult s-au inselat unii in privinta mea. Cam atat...sa inceapa aventura!
Totul va fi bine!

vineri, 23 ianuarie 2015

Despartire

Treptat, treptat, m-am departat.
Incet, incet, ca un ascet,
cand focul tau m-a ars
eu m-am retras.

Cand te-am strigat, n-ai ascultat.
Cand ti-am soptit, nu m-ai iubit.
N-ai fost al meu. Ce rost am eu
cand doare-asa, sa fiu a ta?

Pierdut ai fost si fara rost
te-am cautat. Nu te-am aflat...

marți, 20 ianuarie 2015

Respect never hurt anybody

The idea that inspired me to write this now, was something that annoyed me really bad. Some people just like to stay in front of their computers sharing some useless content on social networks, attacking religion, attacking believers and showing only the bad stuff related to this topic.I'm not saying there aren't some messed up people who say they're christians, muslims and so on but why do so many of you think that believing in God makes someone automatically...less smart?! It's not about freedom of speech anymore. Freedom of speech, in my opinion, means stating your opinion and give some arguments for it. But some of you folks just throw rubbish in my face, for example (cause I'm a christian) and tell me that what anyone can see in your videos, articles, pictures etc depicts the reality of religious people. You simply lack in respect...big time! I'm not even sure what fuels your need to attack religion like this.
I'm against any kind of attacks, but if I were to partially understand someone for strongly criticising something, that would happen when this specific something does harm to others. Does religion harm anyone?! Well, I guess not!There is no religion in this whole wide world promoting violence or harm of any kind. So just stop it! If you don't agree with religion and what it promotes, it's your choice, but you feel like expressing your thoughts on this matter, then at least do it with a bit of respect. Accept that we're different and we can coexist even with these differences. I respect you for who you are, please do the same!

sâmbătă, 22 noiembrie 2014

Ziua in care nicio idee nu a mai fost buna

Am incercat de mai multe ori sa mai scriu ceva, ceva frumos, cu un continut ce merita citit. Imi veneau idei destule, dar din pacate se risipeau prea repede si pana sa termin de scris ceea ce parea initial interesant, ma trezeam ca scriu in gol, ca nimic nu are vreo logica. E greu sa duc ceva la bun sfarsit si asta pentru ca m-am obisnuit sa ma plang ca ceva nu imi iese din stiu eu ce cauze independente de mine. MINCIUNI! Puterea a stat si sta in mainile mele. Atentia trebuie indreptata spre modul de gestionare a timpului si energiei, si nu asuprea gandului sacaitor "oare pot? sunt in stare? nu stiu cat de bine ma descurc...mai bine o las balta." Ba sa nu lasi balta nimic! Scrie, sterge, rescrie, sterge iar de e nevoie! E momentul sa o las mai moale cu scuzele si sa pun osul la treaba. Si nu ma refer aici doar la a scrie cateva idei pe blog, caci asta e o relaxare, o intalnire cu mine, fiinta cea launtrica. ("bine te-am regasit; ai ratacit ceva vreme.") Ma refer la a lua fraiele la conducerea propriei vieti. M-am lasat condusa de fatalitate, considerand ca implicarea mea poate sa tinda spre nul, fara a influenta negativ curgerea lucrurilor. Phahaha! Mai prost de atat nici ca puteam sa gandesc. Cred in Dumnezeu si cred ca de la El imi vine toata puterea, dar cum deja am spus, puterea e in mainile mele. Mi-a fost daruita si eu tot ma intrebam ce sa fac cu ea. Posibilitati am infinite. Depinde cum privesc. Pana la urma si de vezi un punct, spui ca e ceva banal, aproape un nimic. Bine, dar prin nimicul ala pot sa treaca un infinit de drepte!
Am gresit, recunosc. Pasivitatea mea a depasit de mult doza admisa. M-am intoxicat de atatea ganduri partinitoare cu propria-mi persoana. Interesant este ca in acelasi timp sunt si cel mai mare critic al meu. Totusi asta nu a functionat in directia buna. In loc sa imi adun fortele sa ma depasesc pe mine insami, ajungeam la lamentare si la inventarea de scuze. M-am invartit in cercul asta vicios prea mult timp. Dar am nadejde...stiu ca pot sa ma schimb.
Doamne ajuta!